2 years on

For all my intentions to make Wednesday a day away from the world it didn’t happen. Life keeps moving on and I’m learning that’s the lesson to be learned by so many experiences. My plan had been to curl up with some cookies, milk and a viewing of Far and Away – despite the bad accents. In memory of my mom who had passed away two years ago to the day.

I found myself instead confronted with every aspect of my life, everything that’s going right and that I’m making happen. During class I presented my theories on social media to what I can only describe as a very interested audience. After that my roommate and I ran all over south London sorting out papers and money for our flat that we move into next week. During my two hours of down time I opened up an email from CB full of links to silly YouTube videos. Then i rushed off to rehearsal, where even though things weren’t perfect we finished and filmed our dance. I have the feeling this is just the first of many Dead Dog Dance projects.
I’ve been noticing things lately. A love of healthy food, choosing water over soda… I just ate a bran muffin. I have a thing for this long thing cardigans that I’m pretty sure I made fun of my mother for wearing. I stay up late and get up early. I like the move Far and Away (as a child I thought it boring). Community and communication are very important to what I do. I’ve stopped caring what other people think of me. Happiness has little to do with money and everything to do with who is in your life. I like sweet potato and things like lentils and bulgur wheat. I prefer dark breads to white bread. I don’t mind the laugh lines that are showing up, and I see her smile on my face.

I think there’s more of my mom in me now than before, or than I was willing to admit. I wanted to write this yesterday, and I did, but it never left my head. Life doesn’t go as planned, but it does go on. And sometimes, even in the bittersweet and painful times, the beauty and wonder shines through.


Author: Monica

punk rock ballerina. writer. adventurer.

4 thoughts on “2 years on”

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