Bigger on the Inside: the story of a tattoo

If you’ve met me in the real world you know that I’m small and quiet. Not shy so much (anymore), not untalkative (I can talk your ear off), but loud is not a word that would be used to describe me. A bit bigger on the inside.

the only time i’m loud is when i dance
it’s the only time i don’t mind making a statement or being seen.
so when i woke up the morning after getting a gorgeous, bold, bright, colorful tattoo
i’m not going to lie, I freaked out a little.
and then I called on my aunt
you see, she has tattoos
and her daughters have tattoos
and she’s very no nonsense.
she laughed and told me I was fine
which I was
this year had a rocky start
fueled by a rocky ending to last year
and i think it all caught up with me in a moment of nagging self doubt
fueled by the world yelling at young adults for being irresponsible when they are just different
(i’m 27, do i still count as a young adult? i don’t know anymore but i’m surely not a day over 17 in my mind)

I posted a photo of it to instagram and twitter
(pictures or it didn’t happen)
the lyric
i am bigger on the inside
it’s an Amanda Palmer song
the internet is a magical place
and some times human things happen
she saw the tweet
she tweeted back “holy shit”
which i took to be good
then (i found out hours later) she posted it to facebook
and wrote about how surreal it is
(and now i’m writing about how surreal this is)
that i got a tattoo of a lyric from an unreleased song
(that you should listen to, grab some tissues)
a song, that doesn’t feel quite real to her,
because she hasn’t set it down,
made it official,
but there her words are, inked in my skin.
and something is alive and real in that.
something beautiful, enough to be believed
but i’ve heard the song enough in person and on youtube
to know that this song was something
i needed to hear
need to hear

and then,
it’s an intentional reference by her to Doctor Who
a show i enjoy immensely
i’m also small, only brushing 5′ tall
i’m much smaller on the outside you see

we are so much bigger
than another one can ever see
trying is the point of life
so don’t stop trying

promise me 

Tattoo done by Splat at High Priestess in Eugene, OR. He’s awesome!

Author: Monica

punk rock ballerina. writer. adventurer.

24 thoughts on “Bigger on the Inside: the story of a tattoo”

    1. Thank you :) I know, I’m going to have to tell him his tattoo is now internet famous with Amanda Palmer fans when I go in in a couple weeks to see if we want to do any touch ups. If anyone in Eugene wants a tattoo they should definitely check his portfolio out.

  1. Beautifully told. Beautifully. Thanks for sharing. The picture (so-to-speak) is now complete. Your connection to AFP will be too I am sure.
    A magic interchange.

    1. Definitely magic. I love this community. I organized one of the house parties and got to attend two others, one on Amanda’s invitation. Every time I get to really engage with all of us amazing things happen.

  2. I’m not a fan of tattoos, but I love, love your story and your blog – I love that it’s already given you and others so much pleasure – I guess I love your tattoo xx

    1. Thank you. I think tattoos are about the story they tell – the how and why they came to life and the things that have happened to them after they’re made. I’m so glad so many people enjoyed my story.

  3. As I told Amanda on FB, a picture of tattoo should be the cover of the song once it’s released. It’s a beautiul tattoo. Who came up with those colors on the background?

    1. I think that would just add another dimension of surreal to this, but if Amanda ever asks I’m up for getting a better photograph of it!

      I did the lettering layout, and had a milky way/nebula done in watercolor style concept for the background. Splat (my artist) took one of the reference pictures I had and drew up a rough outline, then he pulled up a color palette and I offered a few tweaks on shades/variations. Then I kind of just let him do his thing. There are even little white star dots in there too.

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